So the question is...
What would you remember?
Let me set this up a bit.
We've all seen the Notebook. We all watched it and cried and walked out of the movie theater a little lovey dovey and saddened maybe a bit, and then probably just went right on with the rest of our plans for the night.
Then maybe we watch it occasionally- it tends to be a staple "chick flick" these days, but have you ever REALLY thought about it?...
What would be written in your Notebook? Is your life- full of its ups and downs and varying degrees of both- something that you could read about? Is it something that you would WANT to read about?
I challenge you to really consider this at the exact moment that I challenge myself.
See, just recently I became part of a beautiful life.
A life so beautiful it blesses me by allowing me to be a part of it. A life that has, in recent years, become one of fading memories and tall tales. One that can only recall so much- but in saying that- so much good. A person that is capable of very little and so much more than can be put into words. There are downfalls and bad times, sure, but just wait... it gets better : )
God is forever faithful to put such learning experiences in my path and these days I'm not sure that the path consists of much else! Learning something (or things) new every day.... He is consistently making ALL. THINGS. NEW.
So far my job description consists of: diaper changer, food cooker, juice getter, time-out forcer, trampoline jumper, kitchen dancer, popsicle opener, swim instructor, homemade icing maker (i was probably more proud than necessary of this one), honeysuckle picker, bin organizer, shoe finder, nap time rocker, referee, cleaner, fixer, boo-boo kisser, chauffeur, band-aid applier, and much more, but my favorite at this point is MaMaw watcher.
MaMaw is 93 years old and has Alzheimer's Disease. Any given day with MaMaw can consist of so much to do and so much to talk about. I am captivated by her life. What she remembers and how she remembers it. What she forgets and how she questions it. It is all intriguing and entertaining and just... lovely to me.
So much time with her and so many conversations lead me back to a recurring thought, and now, as I sit across the table from her beautiful heart and see such determination in her eyes- I'll tell you where her secret lies.
(( Okay, Alzheimer's has different degrees and different symptoms associated for each patient, but in a lot of cases, Alzheimer's patients refer back to things they did in their younger years that they still remember. ))
The feeble woman in front of me has more Strength of Spirit than most people I know. I wish you could see her now, and I will do my best to describe the scene for you. There is absolutely no sound in the house aside from my typing and the clock chiming in the hour. The family has gone to the movies and left me (extremely willingly) to sit with MaMaw and keep her company. She sits across from me now, her face fashioned with time and wisdom- wearing laugh lines and and a facial expression that depicts her focus.
Where is her focus??
On her personal love letter from God. Her book that NEVER leaves her side and if ever misplaced is deeply missed. Currently she is attentively reading the word. As she reads the only thing that she will focus on for prolonged periods of time, she circles every single word as she reads it. When she gets to the end of a line, she checks it off, making sure that she has read every single word. Throughout the day, she spends hours in her Favorite Book, reading a single chapter at a time and probably totaling between 10 and 15 chapters.
Oh to be so fixed on God's word.
When she gets fretful or upset- It is easy to calm her. Start her into the 23rd Psalm, and she'll recite with you the rest. I tear up to think of her beautiful soul and the memories she holds so close.
So after spending time with such a Soul as hers, how do I get closer?
If I lost all memory tomorrow, what have I made inherent to my being? What would I remember? What is so important to my life and such a habit that when my heart is quiet I long for it?? If I forget everything except the things that I have held in my life with consistent care, where am I? Who would I be? What would I do?
Dear God, so Faithful to teach me while holding me closely, let me give You that consistent care and make You that inherent part of my being....
I don't know what sweet MaMaw thinks from minute to minute, hour to hour, or day to day- But I know who and Whose she is. She can't tell me where she lives. she has no concept of how a car works or where the mall is. At about 8'o clock every night she asks you where she is going to sleep, and tells you she doesn't want to sleep alone. Oh if she knew what Company she keeps!
She can't always remember who I am or why I am here, but tells me that she loves me numerous times in a day. I believe her; simply because such a being, such a soul as hers IS love.
She is consistently aware of her surroundings... amazed by a reflection of light in a window, and looks intently and comments on the beauty of the leaves of the trees when the wind blows through them.
Little does she know what Light reflects in her, and what Spirit moves through her.
6 On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.
7 Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.
8 My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.
-Psalm 63:6-8
p.s. MaMaw is in the Psalms right now :)
