Being Bold... With The Love of Jesus.

Way too often I cower. I shrink. I pull away. Maybe because something that I see or feel I am fearful of. Maybe because of insecurities about myself or how my opinions may lack significance, my things of importance being not really THAT important.

There are many things I doubt about myself. I am in a constant struggle (and I think rightly so) to figure out what of my time spent is useful... what am I doing, why am I doing it, and if it isn't the utmost- what should I be doing instead...?

I doubt my abilities, I doubt my sincerities, I doubt what I want to do this afternoon- much less tomorrow.

There are a few things that I. Do. Not. Doubt.

I Don't Doubt That My Life Has a Significant Purpose. I Don't Doubt That I Have Been Given Gifts That Are Only Mine- And I Don't Doubt That I Am Expected To Use Them For The Glory Of God. Those things I have never met with insincerity, and although I often doubt my abilities- I know that between God and I (mostly Him ;) My abilities can be like that of Kings.

So here is my confession: Lately I have been in-and-out of some significant states of Doubt. It's an Ugly, Bothersome, Time-Consuming, Wasteful thing- doubt. It can take the best of intentions and possibilities and make them one more worry on an pre-existing list.

Here's my thought: Time. To. Let. Go. And Here's Why...

I Serve a Go-before-me, Go-with-me, Go-beside-me, Go-into-me, Surround-me, Hold-me, Back-me-up, Pick-me-up, Give-to-me, Take-from-me, Secure-me, Love-me-u n c o n d i t i o n a l l y God who is already there, and here, and in and around and with before I even think twice.

Whom shall I fear??

I am blessed with some incredible friendships in this life. God adds to the strength & meaning of my relationships frequently... more grateful for that than I could even write. Words could fill pages and pages on the subject.

A great friend suggested lately that I take on a little more boldness in a situation that has left me doubtful...

So here it goes... With Boldness because of Love and Without. An. Ounce. of. Doubt.

I Am A Child of God- Created In His Image- And. So. Are. They.

So I come to you, my friends, now; requesting an awful lot and being Bold in the request only because I Do Not Doubt Its Relevance.

On the 20th of July I am leaving for Africa. Now, regardless of what that is going to require of me- I will be on a plane that day.

First and foremost- I ask for f e r v a n t prayer as I juggle where I am with where I'll be. I pray that God goes before me and makes a path for me, I pray that He will hold those babies close to Him until our group can be there in flesh to give them- hopefully- a little more than they would've had otherwise, I pray that He will give me the knowledge, wisdom, patience, and perseverance that the next month is going to require, I pray for the group of Africans that we will work with- that we can learn more from them and see further into their lives than we can even hope for, I pray that the knowledge that we receive can only lead to further action and that we can be vessels to our God who is already there before us, I pray to come back a changed person in whatever ways God sees fit, I pray for open eyes, and an open heart, I pray to seek and find the face of God in the people I meet, I pray, I pray, I pray... PLEASE join me.

The issue weighing heavy on my heart is an issue of funding. The yucky part. The part that I wish wasn't required for me to go share Love and Community and Hope with these sweet babies. Unfortunately- In order to share and love them as well as I wish to, I have to first board the plane and be on my way.

Candidly, Fundraising has been difficult. A different situation, a crammed schedule, a new location, and a new job have been stumbling blocks to a determined little nanny. :)

However... My God is so Big, So Strong And So Mighty- There's Nothing My God Cannot Do.

Didn't Someone Pretty Important Say something About Being Like Little Children Once? There ya go. Back to VBS when I was 8. Nonetheless, HE. IS.

So, I need your help. I need your PRAYERS, your ideas, your suggestions, your knowledge, your wisdom, your experience...

Send your thoughts. I need them. Send your prayers. I need them.

I am blessed beyond measure, and here I am on my hands and knees-

Not for me but for my little loves waiting across the ocean.

Love and Thanks-- And more of both...

Kathryn